The psychology of my canceled fight

What is up people?!! I hope you are living the dream and loving life. I am for sure starting new chapters in the LMT world. Spending time working on broadening the horizons of and for the LMT team as well as the reach of the movement. I am also getting ready to put on my first event. So all in all there are a lot of positive things going on however in the midst of all this good stuff I had planned on having a fight. Now, it was to be a tune up, keep me active fight leading into a big fight in May. I had started the grind of extra training, started going through the emotional rollercoaster, and the ideas of am I good enough ,should I be doing this,etc.. Everyone is different but for me it is always like this until the last week of training when I just move into a space where I just don't care about the voices in my head and only think "please just ring the bell". As I am dealing with all of that I get the news that my fight has been canceled. Just like that, the rug has been snatched from beneath my feet. It was extra crappy because I had to tell some of my team that they wouldn't be fighting either. It may not seem like much but for an older fighter with no coach, manager and self awareness enough to know that there aren't many opportunities left, it is a huge let down. After the shock and let down comes the doubt, maybe that was it the last hurrah. "There's no reason to fight anymore, I've done everything I can do", the mind is an incredible motivator and even worse negative Nancy. Once I have come to the realization that I am not fighting and the emotions have settled it becomes easier again just to focus on the fighters competing in the next month. That is until I start to watch fights on youtube or see fights on TV, read blogs, teach class, spar, and on and on. I am addicted to it. I am addicted to the grind of training, teaching, and challenging myself. I've come to the realization that it just won't change and I need to compete physically.So planning on spending the next month stretching, getting strong, making money, and getting ready for the challenge of competition as I know for sure I will be fighting in some way either Muay Thai or Jiu Jitsu.
   I've spent a lot of time learning my craft and I was a really late starter for Muay Thai, but I truly love it. Some people will never understand the amount of work it takes to train, teach, learn, and apply but it is a labor of love to the fullest extent. I am more in Love with it now than ever. 

EPILOGUE: Shortly after writing this I slammed my finger in a steel door.. Ugh. So the plan is solidified. Train what I can with focus on healing body and mind. Sometimes the universe makes your path for you. 

Peace

Luck 

Be inspired!

Happy New Year to all of the LMT readers, fighters and folks that just like to the stuff I write, which still blows me away. I hope you all are ready for a blessed and beautiful new year. I stopped doing resolutions a long time ago an started just creating goals regularly that way I am constantly in pursuit and never disappointed by unrealistic expectations. So on that note I had a great 2014 doing just that. I had a beautiful daughter.

Me and Nin

I was able to win my 3rd belt, compete in Jiu Jitsu,  watch my fighters bring home some awesome victories, and help some people reach their own goals in Muay Thai. I was able to get on Sean Fagan's kick ass Muay Thai Guy podcast and and make contact with Duke Roufus and Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu. I felt like i'm finally getting to be part of the bigger community furthermore I felt successful as a coach and a fighter but then something else happened. I got extraordinarily inspired by how hard they work at their art.

Duke Roufus

I am at the gym teaching or training an average of 5 to 6 hours five days per week and compared to what they have accomplished I feel like i'm going so slow that i'm moving backwards. I can do more and I can accomplish more so my goals for the future are to do just that. I plan on being inspired by those that work harder than me until I can inspire others the way they do. I have heard plenty of fighters talk about how they work really hard to promote the growth of the sport and as I look deeper I realize that as usual a lot of people just talk.

Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu

I have to say that though I write this blog, it's not enough. If we expect Muay Thai or kickboxing to become more mainstream so fighters don't have to work full time jobs while trying to train for a fight that might or might not happen because of the lack of promotions, we have to do more.

    Though I just ranted about growing our sport I want to remind all of you and on a daily basis myself, that we have to be inspired in our lives. Allow the passion you might find in others that are making steps to accomplish their goals be the spark that lights the fire in your own passion.

Sean Fagan

When I was on the Muay Thai Guy podcast Sean asked me how I deal with haters and I don't really have many but I try to ignore them when they do pop up. The truth is don't focus your energy on those that are offering negative energy but focus and embrace those that are providing a path to follow with their positive energy. It's a great thing to be challenged but don't be challenged by ignorance be challenged by constructive criticism. 

     So that's it the first blog of the new year is a thank you. Thank you Sean, Sylvie, Duke, my family, fighters and friends that provide me with a vision of passion fueled by hard work. My goal is to be more like you as I pursue my goals. Peace and blessings. Big fights and big things coming soon.

Here are links to Sylvie and Sean's websites:

Sylvie- http://8limbs.us/

Sean- http://www.muay-thai-guy.com/