Getting the monkey off your back: Through darkness comes light

          I am sending out a big hello to all my LMT people, fellow martial artists, and regular joes out there! Just back fro Austin, Texas visiting my extended family and this one comes on the heels of a huge victory for me. It was my first trilogy and the first time my woman was coming to see me fight,this was one of the biggest moments in my competitive life and one of the proudest moments as a human being in the pursuit of expression.

After the victory

    I had been haunted by this for about the last 9 months. I think I first fought Micky in October of last year, I thought for sure that I had won, but to my surprise the winner was announced and it wasn't me. The crowd boo'ed I had lost a split decision and I was furious, I sat in the venue on one of the benches before driving 4 hours back home in complete disbelief. I wanted a rematch as soon as possible which brought me into the new year somewhat blinded and confused about what direction I was going in. I was pushing myself to the limit and really losing focus of myself. I had spent the first fight dodging and countering however this time I was determined to stand and bang and count on my chin. When I weighed in I realized that I might have made a slight mistake I only weighed 180lbs the fight was set for 185lbs and Micky was clearly at least 195lbs on fight night but I was determined. I repeatedly rocked Micky in the second fight and thought that I had laid it all on the line but it was dubbed a draw and I was saddened. I was learning the hard way about myself and who I wasn't being in my life and competitively. After regrouping and leaning on my family for support, I felt like I had remembered what it was that I enjoyed about training and what I needed to do to get back there. I realized I needed to get back to being a martial artist. Living the way that I teach. My feet are firmly planted and rooted in having a solid family structure and discipline within myself as it pertains to the time I spend working on my craft. I have a beautiful woman by my side, a 5 year old that loves to train and hang with me, I have my health and a great group of friends and family. It ultimately is all I need. Once I got back in touch with that I felt like nothing could stop me. I asked for help from my friends and worked my ass off the way I used to. I felt amazing...

Micky (191lbs) and I at the weigh-in

 Life however has a way of throwing you curveballs when you're waiting for the fastball. About 2 weeks before the fight we had a big loss in our small family and it shook me. To the point that I was having reoccurring dreams leading all the way up to the fight. Instead of doing what I normally do and becoming depressed,introverted and living in my own head. I used it for motivation. I pushed harder. When bad things happen that are out of your control, you can't let those be the things that slow your process or derail your dreams. You can only control yourself and the choices you make. I chose to make this fight a dedication to my family and it carried me when I was down.

Thanking Kru Dom for the opportunity

         All that being said I am so grateful that I got to be a part of a trilogy. I have no regrets about any of it because I have grown immensely as a person, fighter and teacher. Also, I came away with a new friend that I really respect. Micky Pederson is an awesome guy and i'm glad it wasn't some angry wanna be tough guy. I can totally understand why competitors always think they can do better or want to do it again, it's hard to walk away from a challenge. For real though I am just happy that I have far surpassed my dreams and I still have a lot to offer. Love you guys, never stop pushing and "if they say that You can't then You must!"

Live in your moment

   Whassup people, I hope this blog finds you happy and healthy. Training is going great for me. My jiu jitsu is starting to come together and my Muay Thai is ever progressing, these are my loves and they are a constant work in progress.
    Something I have realized lately is how a person's focus changes rapidly and each person has his or her own goals and obstacles to surpass. However challenging or rewarding those things may be, we must learn to live in our current moment. When i'm teaching class I should be focused on that moment, not the seconds before or after. When preparing for a Jiu Jitsu tournament I may be focused on winning a medal but the truth is, when I hit the mat and continue to focus on that medal my fate is surely sealed.
    For those of you that fight, either for fun or for glory, you should live in the fight and embrace every moment from bell to bell. Don't get lost in the clouds. There is no time but this exact time. To get lost in the past is to miss the now and to forfeit the possibilities of future. This doesn't mean for a second you shouldn't remember your mistakes, but don't let them bring you down. Use them to evolve your game and your life.
I am the first to admit that I get caught up in my own head and the dreams of what could happen and the glories of times that are behind me. However, I am aware of these faults and work regularly to be in my moment. The easiest way I know to combat the constant barrage of thoughts outside of the now is to breathe. Deep breathing accompanied by the mantra of relax runs through my head over and over until I start to truly feel relaxed. I try to focus on what i'm doing, how my body is moving and what mistakes i'm making as well as what i'm doing well. It helps to realize that this moment will never come again, you get one chance to live at this particular time in this particular space. It is yours, own it fully and wholly.
    Btw, this doesn't just go for fighting, this goes for every moment in life. Dig in and live it. Don't live in the past and use your now to create your future. Be blessed and thanks for listening.